Behind Closed Doors
by ShadowedSoulSpirit
Summary: Toris, Eduard, and Raivis have always lived a difficult, deprived life. But the stakes are suddenly raised when their mother and her new boyfriend attempt to kill them in an act of fun. Toris has to realize he can't keep her secret any longer because it is not only tearing him apart, but ruining his relationship with his boyfriend. Warnings Inside.
1. Wishing

**Behind Closed Doors**

**A Hetalia story.**

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_Toris, Eduard, and Raivis have always lived a difficult, deprived life. But the stakes are suddenly raised when their mother and her new boyfriend attempt to kill them in an act of fun. Toris has to realize he can't keep her secret any longer because it was not only tearing him apart, but ruining his relationship with his boyfriend. Can Toris come to understand that he was never alone to begin with?_

_Warnings: Rated T for abuse, language, alcohol usage, yaoi, and hinted...um.. activities..._

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Alcohol affects the brain. It detaches the reasoning from the rest of the person like it is pulling a cord. Under alcohol's powerful influence, someone could be capable of the most savage and inhuman things possible. Alcohol wipes the memory clean of any ties between people, damages the ability to feel emotions. It clouds the mind with a thick impenetrable fog that only lifts when the last drop of the cursed substance leaves there system. Bitterly so, a person can be changed in an instant from a kind and loving mother to an animalistic sloth with no desire to raise the children she brought into the world. Like a monster they could become in an instant, reacting to whatever their instincts command them to do. For three children, this is the environment they partake in every day, with no other option to escape it.

This is the monster that lurks within their household.

The eldest child brought up in such filthy circumstances is at a ripe age of 16, but with no driver's license to prove that the boy named Toris could legally escape with his brothers in tow. As though as they were his own children, Toris cares for his two younger brothers, providing them with the love their mother could not share. He is the very reason each day they arrive at school with combed hair, clean clothes, and bellies filled with food even if it wasn't very bountiful in taste. Aside from being the practical caretaker, Toris is the root of mostly all the abuse. He is reprimanded when he steals money from his mother in order to pay for their meals. She copes him out each time he tries to hide her vodka and whiskey, or attempts to drive away in her car. Most of all however, the biggest reason why he shows up at school with unexplainable bruises is the fact that he is gay. He had fallen for his best friend, who in turn gladly accepted his new desires and had became his boyfriend, there relationship strengthened by the full year they've spent together. The only time they could spare, or at least Toris could, is on the school grounds at lunch and when they walk home together on occasions. Toris is too afraid of visiting him because that means leaving his brothers to suffer alone at the hands at his mother, and he absolutely _refuses_ to let his boyfriend see the alcohol induced monster she can become. He would give anything, _anything,_ in order to escape the everyday brutality of the woman who gave birth to him.

The middle child is an ace student, top of the 7th grade, but by no means is he the mother's favorite. She would sneer at the times he would present his report card, full of smiles and eager stories of colleges he would someday attend. Three lashes with a belt to the head and there was no more talk of 'escaping' as she put it. As the years past, she came up with more creative ways of 'beating things into their brain', mostly doing this to the child named Eduard. As a result from all the head trauma he received, his vision began to fade away until he was pronounced legally blind. Toris saved up all his money in order for his brother to receive proper treatment, even a pair of glasses, but every time his stash would be found and exploited for more vodka and whiskey. Eduard still made outstanding grades, even if his face was only an inch away from his paper in order to see it. Managing as best as he could, he made it through each school day rather well until teachers started approaching him on his sight. His mother was called promptly. When they arrived home, Toris was unable to react fast enough when she smashed a Vodka bottle into the side of his head, nearly robbing him of his vision in his right eye. The thirteen year old had to drop out of all sporting and academic events. He was placed in a Special ED class so they could individualize his education to adapt to his terrible vision. Eduard would gladly lose whatever little vision remained in order to leave the household of a demon.

The youngest child is the product of one to many drinks and two failed marriages. The end result is a genetic disorder in the boy that causes his body to grow rather slowly. This is formally known as dwarfism. Raivis as he is called, is nine going on ten, but he had the stature of a six year old at best. This does not sway his mother's dislike of him, despite being the practical baby of the family. Much to her annoyance, Raivis has been a crier ever since birth. Many times Toris, Eduard, and Raivis have found themselves sleeping outside because he could not stop shedding tears so noisily. One of the few things that could calm him down is reciting various poems. Toris did not know much poetry, but Eduard did. Together, with Toris following Eduard's lead, they would reenact certain poems in order to drawl Raivis's attention away from the horrible life he was born into. Most of the time he tries to be happy, but several things dampen his mood. Because of his dwarfism, he is the bully's favorite joke. Not just the school's inhabitance, but his own mother would trash talk his height, referring to him as a defective child. He is the offspring of the very last failed marriage, making him the most despicable of them all. Due to this, Eduard and Toris often find themselves protecting Raivis, hiding him when their mother was on an alcohol rampage. Raivis would constantly make pacts with God, pleading that he would never complain about his height again if he would save them from the prison they were trapped in.

None of their wishes, no matter what they offered in return, are answered. Three lives are riddled with alcohol infected memories, because there mother pulled the plug of her reasoning in order to fully enjoy the numbing effects of her drinks. She didn't even consider stopping when she brought home boyfriend number four...

Toris was order to skip the school day in order to prep the house for his mother's date. Obeying her like a dutiful son, he saw to it that Eduard and Raivis were ready for school, making Raivis recite the spelling words he would be tested over and checked Eduard's books to make sure he grabbed the correct set before he walked them to the bus stop, and then returning to the house where he has spent his life caged with a demon. Luckily, she found it necessary to go prepare for her date and left for a few hours to do God knows what. The house is far from the city limits, only connected to the main road by a thin stretch of gravel road that is slowly being claimed by the environment.

It is a perfect place to hide the horrors of the house that tilts slightly to the left, its shingles torn from the roof and patched with Toris's shirts to prevent water from leaking in. Its pale blue paint is peeling to reveal the rotting wood underneath it, warped by the time it spent exposed to the elements. First, he sweeps off the rickety porch before washing each plank, riding it of the thick layers of dirt. He cleans the six windows the house had, removing thick globs of spider webs in the process. He tries to fix the doorknob, but it still takes quite a bit of jiggling to force it open. He picks up all the bottle lying around the combined kitchen and living room, disposing them in a trash can. He fluffs up the pillows on his mother's favorite chair, and drapes a few blankets on the couch to hide the various stains. Toris adjusts the antennas on the TV, knowing that his mother got angry when the channel didn't admittedly appear. He ties the moth bitten curtains back from the two windows, letting a bit of light flitter in to make up for the finicky electricity. He mops up the wooden floors quickly, because Raivis had made a rather large mess that morning on accident and he did not want his mother to see it when she returned. He washs the dishes and put them up, before storing the food that she left out on the counter. He wipes down the counters and the table, the chairs and the little hanging pots and pans. He opens the single window in that part of the room to let air circulate to get rid of the smell of alcohol. He spruces up the bathroom, lingering only long enough to collect everything that belongs to him and his brothers before taking it to their room. They are forced to stay hidden until mother deems them worthy enough to stand in her boyfriend's presence. There has to be absolutely no trace of kids in the house.

Toris places there bathroom belongings into a small shoe box that he slides under his bed. The three brothers all share a room with single window that Toris has covered with a molded towel. Raivis bed is closest to the door in case he has to make a late night run to the bathroom. It isn't a bed, more like a mattress sitting on the ground with baby blankets from his childhood the only thing that kept him warm at night. Eduard's is on the adjourning wall, right underneath the window. He has a small base that is really short, but is good for hiding little books underneath it. Toris's bed lays horizontal with Raivis's, being the tallest out of all the others. This is where they store all their clothes and precious belongs so it would be out of the way.

Making all three of the beds, Toris's feet travel to the final and most demonic room there is remaining: his mother's. He did not memorize the lay out of the room. He just walks in, opening up the two windows. He picks up all the clothes in a rapid pace motion, collecting the bottles as he goes. He makes the bed at break neck speed and sweeps the floor just as fast. He hates being in her room almost as much as he hates being in her presence. It is creepy, like the very owner is hidden, watching him as he works. Within five minutes, Toris is finished with the messiest room of them all.

He then goes to work washing the clothes. Each and every material has to be washed by hand, all due to his mother and there tight money situation. Toris's stomach churns at the idea of what his mother is burning their money away this time. He hates telling his brothers that they couldn't eat tonight or they would have to continue to wear clothing that was obviously too small. He hates that he is helpless, unable to save Eduard and Raivis from their mother more often. He also hates lying to his boyfriend, Feliks, telling him that his stomach growls frequently because he is sick, or the bruises are because he is clumsy. It's not like he ever believed him anyway, but still lying hurt Toris. He knows the only time it didn't tighten his chest and catch his breath in his throat. It is when he lies to his mother, telling her things for the safety of his brothers. It is almost satisfying when he does so, like some weight is lifted off his shoulders.

Toris frowns when he realizes he feels that way. A sudden sense of dread washes over him. Did he know the difference between when he's lying and when he's not? It comes so easily to him, having to lie to the boyfriends that came and went, telling them his mother is pleasant, loyal, and above all friendly. He tells his boyfriend blunt explanations like it is as easy as talking. He's lied so much to hide the monster his mother has become. Did he know the difference?

With a basket of now sopping wet fabric, Toris makes his way through the neglected grass outside to a rusted clothes line. Wringing out each piece of material, he flops it over the wire so it was hanging out to dry. He did this with several articles of his mother's clothing, until the basket is empty and the entirety of the line is covered. Satisfied with his work, he returns to the house. In the dim sunlight of the fading morning, the house is almost hexed to look like a little piece of paradise with the off white walls and ornamental crowning. Beautiful it is, aside from the twisting wrath of nature that overtakes the outside's beauty. It probably was once a proud and magnificent house before it was owned by his mom he thought.

Before three failed marriages made the bitter liquor seem like a blissful retreat.

Toris returns to his bedroom, sitting on Eduard's bed as though as it is his own. Sliding a small wooden box from underneath it, he stretches as far as he could to pull out a few pairs of shirts he has hid underneath his mattress. He places them in his lap before opening the box up. It is here he finds mending tools, the proper things he needs to repair the rips and tears that his youngest brother has acquired on the playground. Threading the needle with practiced dexterity, he easily sews up a hole before repairing the seam. Each stitch he makes does not require a second thought or hesitation. He has been mending his brother's clothes for years, to the point that it is like a second nature to his hands. Folding up the shirt, he gets to work on the second one. It happened to be Raivis's favorite, its red color faded from its many years of usage. Toris could remember when he wore it. He could recall when Eduard wore it. Like many things in the house, it is a hand-me-down from the oldest to the youngest. Because of the noticeable height difference from when Toris was nine, he constantly has to hem all the clothes to fit his brother's dwarfism. He didn't mind though. He enjoyed seeing the smile on Raivis's face when he hands him a shirt or pants that were just his size.

Hiding the shirts back in there proper place, with the only thing evident of their patching being the pale blue thread Toris managed to snag from school, he gets up to stretch his aching back. It is a source of most of his pains, having been thrown against the wall a number of times. He shutters at the memory of his mother coming home with her new favorite toy; it was a whip she had mooched off an ex-boyfriend. The memory of a searing pain lacing his back coaxes the scars back to life with a dull throbbing ache. It is the very reason Toris absolutely refuses to remove his shirt, not even in the presence of his brothers. They don't even know what his mother did to him. He tries to distract himself by counting down from a hundred, exhaling deeply to prevent his breathing from faltering. The sporadic pitter patter of his heart began to slow down as the memory fades away. Toris is notoriously known throughout the school as the kid who constantly suffers from random panic attacks. Their mother has left a mark on each of them. Toris with his panic attacks and the deep scars that'll never fade away. Eduard with his mangled eyesight. Raivis with his dried tear ducts and a trail fear that stalks him throughout the day.

Each child has been scared by the fiend lurking within their household, ravaged by thirst and evil intent

Toris goes on about his day, uninterrupted by the sudden and unexpected arrival of his mother. She must have gone to a bar he considers. When the single clock in the entire household rang at the 2 o'clock mark, Toris makes the trek up the winding gravel road, occasionally checking over his shoulder. Not only would a coyote stray from the dense forest. On certain days, his mother would stalk him up the drive. He has grown accustomed to watching his back carefully. His mind wanders as he walks; leaving his body like it is possible thing. If he could physically do that, it would be too ethereal.

Its moments like these that Toris Laurinaitis begins to wish.

He wishes his father had taken him with him, instead of leaving him behind. He wishes he had a different mother. He wishes he lived far, far away from the thick forest and the shambling, tilting place they call a house. He wishes he could tell Feliks the truth, riding himself of a huge burden. He wishes he could provide a better life for his brothers. He wishes Raivis did not have dwarfism, and Eduard didn't have eye problems. Most of all, he wishes that someone, _anyone,_ would save them. His wishes would never come true, he knew, but it is something to hold onto, to believe in. It is something to strive for and keep living in. Once you lose hope in something, it's as good as gone.

Toris didn't want to lose any more than he already has.

Dutifully, he awaits the arrival of the school bus as it comes blazing down the asphalt road of the main high way. It comes to a blaring halt, depositing two kids before continuing its route at an unusually high speed Toris notes. Raivis falls into his arms, a sputtering mess, unable to explain what has happened to make him so high strung. Eduard's pale eyes are wide, as though as he saw something unjustly for the first time. With his fingers wrapped tightly in the strap of his back pack, he begins recounting slowly as Toris ushers them up the drive, carrying the small Raivis.

"We... we were all getting on the bus..." He explains, struggling to find the correct phrases as he goes, "And... this truck pulled up. The driver… the driver had a shotgun... started shouting at us..." By the way he had said it, Toris understood that it wasn't the group of students he is referring to, "Threatening us... and... and…" The last bit is getting caught in his mouth as he tries to deny the tears there freedom to fall.

Unsuccessfully however, they begin to escape from his damaged eyes, "And momma agreed. She was with him... yelling those things too..." His voice is barely above a whisper, so terrified that speaking about her would strike him dead.

"Mama wants to kill us!" Raivis screeches, bawling loudly into Toris's shirt.

Toris's heart drops at the sound of his brother's cry. Its short lived however, when his hearing begins to pick up on something. The trio freeze when they hear tires crunching against the gravel, throwing up rocks and dirt as they too blare down the road, heading directly at them. Toris only manages one look at the grey truck housing the man and his mother before he snatches Eduard's arm and dives off the road. The truck narrowly misses him, grunting at the sudden shift of gears like it is disappointed it missed. Not giving him anytime for a second attempt at running them over, Toris leads his nearly blind brother into the dense cedar forest, away from the glaring eyes of the pickup truck. Fear was the only thing guiding him at this point, leading him throughout the winding shelter of trees that cluster together.

He couldn't believe his mother would be trying to kill them.

"I don't wanna die… I don't wanna die." Raivis whimpers.

Out of the line of sight, Toris brings them to sit down behind an abundance of berry bushes and thistles. He rocks his youngest brother, whispering quietly that everything would be alright. He pleads for him to be quiet, but that only heightens his brother's anxiety and thus, makes him break down even more. Eduard's memories of poetry fades along with his courage, making him unable to provide comfort aside from wrapping his arms tightly around them, burrowing his face into Raivis's back. They are all scared.

They are always scared.

Toris prays silently that his mother would not find them. It is a wish he wants to come true. He knows with a certain dread what she would do if she happened to find them.

They hear the truck rumble nearby, prowling slowly, trying to find them. Eventually, the growl of the engine is silenced when the occupants of the car get out. They shout each of their names, making Raivis choke on his sobs. His older brothers shed their silent tears, fearing for their lives and the lives of those around them. This time they are spared. The truck roars to life an hour later, and retreats back to the house.

Full realization ways down on Toris like cinder blocks. This is the first time his mother actually attempted to kill them. There are many times he could recall her being on the brink of such a thing, but only when she drank so heavily even her name seemed to evade her. Did this new man, her apparent new boyfriend, talk her into killing them? His chest aches painfully at the idea of returning home. What would happen if they did? What would be awaiting them?

The children could run away. But the fear of running away itself prevents them from doing it. So, when twilight overtakes the sky with a variation of midnight blue, the trio sulkily follows the trail back to their home. Toris is the first to enter, per usual, in an attempt to detour any fights and a possible gun wielder awaiting them. However, when they walk in, his mother is not waiting for him. He could hear there drunken voices in her bedroom, just down the hallway. Motioning for his brothers to stay silent, they sneak into their own room and shut the door quietly. By now, the rush of adrenaline has fled their bodies and left hollow, empty husks in their wake. Tiredly, the boys climb into their assigned beds, and fell into a deep sleep, trying to forget the entire ordeal.

This doesn't last all night.

By the time dawn is beginning to rise, banishing the darkness of night, Raivis and Eduard are curled up in Toris's bed, afraid mother would enter the room in the middle of the night to finish what she has started. Toris refused to sleep a wink, instead staring up at the pale ceiling as he listens to the progress made in his mother's room. Throughout much of it, he is thankful his brothers are asleep. It is inappropriate for their ears to hear. During the course of it, he figured out another wish he hoped would come true.

He wished he had a phone so he could have called Feliks in the woods, pleading him to come rescue him. He wasn't for sure how long he could live in fear and isolation, detached from the rest of society. He also knew that if this new boyfriend participates in the things his mother does, then it would make things that much harder to pull through.

Toris wakes up his brother's at seven, coaxing them gently out of bed and assuring them they would be okay. He helps the both of them pick out clean clothes and change. Asking which books Eduard needs, he gives his brother the appropriate literature. Again, he has Raivis recite his spelling words before he pulls his shoes on. Afraid that his mother would be waiting in the living room, Toris opens up the window and tells his brothers to climb out. His heart floods with relief when they make it to the bus stop without a single hitch from his mother or the new boyfriend. He just dreads the return home, though. It is hard to miss the grey pickup truck still sitting in front of the house. Each brother gets a seat on the bus, alone. They stay silent, more silent then they did when they needed to be, on the ride to school. This happens every day, like they are afraid speaking would break the tranquility, the feeling of leaving that house behind even if it is for a brief time.

Since the beginning, the children have suffered. They have grown accustomed to fearing the next day.

Upon their arrival at the school, Toris makes sure they arrive at their appropriate classes. Before he could even consider which way to go to find his locker, he is met with a bone crushing hug from a person he is more than glad to see. Forgetting about the strict rules on PDA, Toris embraces his boyfriend tightly, trying to ignore the fact that more than anything he wants to break down in his arms and tell him what his mother attempted yesterday.

It is really beginning to bug him. It is as though as she was behind the steering wheel, and not that man.

"Toris! Where, like, were you yesterday? I was so worried!" Feliks exclaims, moving to hold Toris's hand. Together they walk to their locker while Toris conjures up an excuse on the spot.

"I had the flu, I'm sorry." The lie feels bitter on his tongue, no matter how easily it rolls of it. He didn't like it one bit.

"And you didn't call me?" Feliks is worried, but underneath it, he is a tad bit suspicious. This has been going on for years, the petty excuses that he's learned not to trust. Even before they got together, he did this. Feliks knew his best friend-turned-boyfriend better than anyone else. He knew without a doubt something is bugging him.

"I've told you before Feliks. Our phone is broken."

"Then at least, like, let me come over and help you out a bit."

"I'm sorry but Eduard has clarinet practice after school. You can't come over." Toris realizes a little too late that he will be caught with this lie.

"You know as well as I do Toris that he can't read the notes anymore." Feliks pulls him out of the common stream of students, leading them to a more secluded area of the school. Neither one of them is particularly worried about being late, but still Toris grew nervous. He tries to monitor his breathing, but the more he thought about it, the more erratic it gets. He didn't want him to find out how many times he has lied to him, what has been going on in their household, all of it. He wants it to remain a secret, no matter how stupid that really seems. It's just still very hard for him to comprehend his mother almost killing them. It was intentionally, but she didn't have blood thirsty intent to do so. If she did, she would have looked for them more feverishly. It's almost as if… they did it for the pure fun of it.

His head begins to spin, and it feels like his heart is pumping to hard. Before Feliks could ask what was really going on, Toris begins suffering from a panic attack.

His breathing comes out short and quick, making his chest ache terribly. Cold chills stroke his spine, sending his body into violent tremors. Feliks is quick to pull him completely out of eye sight, before cradling Toris to him.

"It's okay Tori…" Feliks coos softly, rocking them back in forth as he plants little kisses on his forehead and cheeks, "There's nothing to be panicking about. Everything is alright."

Toris couldn't ever figure it out. It's like Feliks's melodical voice could somehow slow down his heart rate and calm his tremors. It could breathe life back into his lungs, and above all calm him down. Within in a matter of minutes, when it could have lasted hours, Feliks completely sooths Toris to point that he is panicking no longer. He didn't even bother to ask his question, because he knew that is what causes him his greatest anxieties. Instead, he continues to rock back and forth, even long after the bell rang and the hallways clear. Much to Toris's surprise, he finds himself crying. He didn't confess, like his mind urges him desperately to do. He just cries on Feliks's shoulder, and like the loving boyfriend he is, Feliks helps him through the pain.

Could Toris ever tell him what is going on?

Or at least tell him that his mother tried to kill him?

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**Credit goes to my bestie Liet and the TV show Deadly Women. We were watching it when we started talking about this idea!**

**-Soul Spirit-**


	2. The Phoenix

**Behind Closed Doors**

**A Hetalia story.**

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**Chapter Two: The Phoenix**

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Toris tears, he thought, are bitter reminders; each and every one of them. Each one that glistens down his face is just another fear, anxiety, lie. They represent everything Toris is too afraid to speak of. He is spiteful of the tears. They drench his skin, shaping it into a false mask that he refuses to remove. Maybe that is why he lies as much as he does. He's shed so many tears that it makes the mask impenetrable. Unable to remove the false skin, he just continues and continues to repeatedly lie to everyone around him. Some instances are acceptable. But the amount he did, Toris knows, is not. Feliks doesn't utter a word, instead allows him to release his sorrows on his shoulder. He has already decided his classes aren't even relatively close in importance as Toris is. He would skip class if he needs a friend by his side.

And skip class they did.

The duo heads out to the school grounds when Toris's eye ducts are dry and irritated, enabling him to see where they went. This time of year, the school grounds are a beauty. It is unlike the sheltering trees around Toris's house that shield the world from its horror. He did not feel an enviable sense of trepidation. Here, he feels almost at peace, like the world wasn't as bad as he is making it out to be. There is a whole lawn of healthy mantis green grass that is practically like a giant, fluffy pillow. Willow trees, tangled into one continuous tree by the wind, dangle there patches of green leaves like bails of material. It is here Feliks leads Toris and, with the skill of a tailor in training, Feliks threads some limp branches together to shield them from the wind and the school administration. It is like a little cocoon that the two of them could nestle in, relaxing against one another's warmth. Toris treasures these moments more than any humane thing. He makes another wish, wrapped up in the willow's arms and his boyfriend's love.

He wishes he could remember this forever.

"Toris… Just so you know I'll always be here for you," Feliks intertwines his fingers with him to infensize his point, "You don't ever have to like tell me what's going on. But if you need someone to talk to, you can totally talk to me, okay?"

Sapphire contracts against emerald as their lips meet in a tender kiss that rekindles their love into an even stronger flame. Cupping the side of his face, Toris runs his thumb against the pale skin of his boyfriend, revealing at the feel of such smoothness.

"There's nothing going on. I promise." He murmurs against his lips, before pressing them to his forehead.

Feliks frowns, for only a moment, because he knows better. However, he collects his emotions, reminding himself promptly that Toris just isn't ready yet. He needs to time to probably think it over and find the way to explain what is going on. Feliks isn't desperate for the answer. He doesn't want to know why he lies frequently, almost like he thought Feliks couldn't tell. All he wants to know is could he help Toris stop hurting. That's all that matters to him anyway. The willow's leaves brush against their skin like a lover's touch, coaxing their mouths to meet once again in a sincere kiss. Neither of them fear persecution if they are caught. At the moment, their world is viewed very differently than the average perspective. For Toris and Feliks, they are the only two people breathing, while the rest of the world is shuttered in a frozen picture, waiting for the moment that they would once again move. The bad thing is, there is the beginning of a tear in their perfect world. It is not like Feliks distrusts Toris; on the contrary, he trusts him completely despite knowing that not all of it is true.

Toris is pushing himself away. He is isolating himself, almost as if he is back in the tilting home of his mother. He is building up a wall in order to protect the lives outside the school. He doesn't want anyone to know, and in order to do this, he's blocking out the people who want to help the most. It is creating an undeniable rift that with each lie is expanding wider and wider. If he doesn't become wearier, Toris could unintentionally destroy the relationship between himself and Feliks.

A monster is capable of leaving such deep, ugly scars that would carry with them for the rest of their lives.

School ends too early in Toris's opinion because to him, it is only a matter of minute before Feliks has to unravel the cocoon around them. They embrace one last time, exchanging soft pecks on each other's cheek and whisper 'I love you' before they break apart.

"I'll, like, see you tomorrow Toris." Feliks tells him, a smile plastered firmly on his face.

Toris could only nod, marveling at the angelic look his boyfriend has. He always thought he is beautiful, even before they got together. His sun colored hair halos his pale, blemish-less face, bringing to life an angel in a human body. Toris loves him dearly, but not just because he is beautiful. He loves Feliks because he is Feliks, and he wouldn't want him any other way than the adorable fashion lover he is. Waving goodbye, the duo disperses. Toris's first stop is the seventh grade. Almost a foot taller than most of the occupants, he easily wades through the masses of eager student to find his brother squinting at his locker's contents in frustration. He really needs glasses… Toris sighs inwardly, wishing he could manage a pair of glasses for his brother.

"What do you need?" Toris asks softly, knowing what bothers Eduard the most is being unable to help himself. One day he had called himself disabled because of it, and his eldest brother has despised the term ever since. It is not his fault he is unable to read normally like any other kid. It is their mother's responsibility for prohibiting him from achieving the best he could.

"Math and science." Came the equally quite reply. Eduard's eyes are downcast in a mixture of embarrassment and rising anxiety. He is not prepared in the slightest for the trip home. Pushing the correct set of books into his brother's arms, he pats his back.

"It'll be okay Eduard. I promise." It is a hollow, otherwise useless promise, but Toris hopes in some way it would comfort his younger brother. Eduard numbly nods his head, finished talking for the entirety of the day. He has a sick sense of bitter foreshadowing each time his mind drifts off to his mother. Shuddering quietly, he knows for certain that something terrible will happen upon their arrival at home.

Toris and Eduard go to Raivis's class, finding the youngest skipping about merrily as a few of his classmates chant a child's play song to their little dance. It is one of the few times he could be seen in a natural, ecstatic environment where the world is not trying to crush his heart like so often his mother would do. His older brothers find themselves chuckling at the scene, noticing their brother's blotchy, tired face is rather hilarious. It is like some kind of cleansing washes through there very body, bathing their spiritual, their mental, and their emotional planes of all the stress clouding their lives. Laughter has that miracle effect, of making them feel like they are free by escaping there physical body and trading it for a renewed one.

For these children, they need this more often than they ever experience it.

Practically shattering the happiness being sheltered within Raivis, they tell him almost gravely it is time to get on the bus. The shrieking of the wheels against asphalt is the beginning of a solemn melody. The chatter of many voices and the clattering sound as objects collide with the sides on sharp turns only add to the inevitable feeling coiling deep in the pits of their stomachs. The final turn is especially sharper, as though as it wishes to eject the kids from the bus before they make it home. The bus driver is kinder than she has ever been before, wishing the siblings a happy day when they got off, before peeling away from the drive. Each child in turn gulps quietly, looking at the gravel road before them like it leads to death row or a firing squad.

As a result, they do something that will probably carry with them forever when they are faced with such agonizing fear.

With Toris in the middle of his two younger brothers, he reaches out and clasps each of their hands in his own. Together, they ascend up the gravel road, hands locked in a defiant jester that they would not bow. They would not break. Together they are at their strongest, and together they would stay. They've suffered through the worst experiences that way, and it would stay the same no matter what adversity they are faced with. That doesn't mean, however, that they are not afraid. Toris's breathing is rapidly growing out of control, sputtering in his lungs like a cough that would not escape. Raivis is quivering harder than a leaf clinging desperately to a branch that the wind wants it to let go. As for Eduard, although physically he is not escalating along with consternation, his resolution begins to waver. He is falling prey yet again to the very thought of the unthinkable happening. Their mother has done much palpable damage, but her scars run so deep in these children that they are not even visible on the surface.

They do not fear repercussion like they are accustomed to doing a number of times. No, they fear that the one who would be greeting them on the other side of the broken door would be death. They are horrified by the idea of the woman who brought them into the world could take them out of it just as easily. In almost aligned unison, the three brothers each make a similar wish.

_I wish she doesn't kill us the moment we walk in. _

_I wish she just ignores us. We could still get by._

_I wish, God, that you won't let us die. I'm not ready to be an angel._

Their fear only intensifies when they step on the porch, now dusted by a day's worth of dirt that grits underneath their feet. Releasing their hands for the first time since they arrived, Toris is the first to jiggle the handle, and proceeds to walk in. Much to his relief, which sweeps away the impending panic attack, there is not a barrel of a gun waiting on the other side of the door. Awaiting their return is the monster that instigated their near death, the demon whose thirst is unquenchable.

Their mother.

She is lounging in the chair Toris had carefully prepared, chugging on a bottle of acidly clear liquid like her life is contained in said bottle. The eldest brother instantly recognizes the stench accompanying the room. It is a concoction his mother calls whiska; a.k.a. a combination of whiskey and vodka. Although that is not what she is drinking at the moment, Toris could tell she had inhaled some prior to their arrival. She regards them with icy blue eyes, making each of them shutter. That is the only characteristic shared amongst the family, although the brothers' eyes are much brighter (aside from Eduard's, for obvious reasons). She gulps down another mouth full of the bitter liquid before slamming the bottle into the arm of the chair with such force that a spider web materializes on the very bottom.

"You know what?" She slurs, almost in a sneering way that she knows something they do not.

"W-what…?" Raivis stutteringly questions, knowing full well that the brute of their punishments are as a result of her alcohol intake reaching the roof. This will not be good.

Eduard frowns inwardly to himself. His sense of foreshadowing is growing stronger, more powerful, like it is a tangible shadow towering over him, urging him that something is going to go terribly, terribly wrong. The feeling seems to connect to the others, and soon enough his brothers are also feeling a similar foreboding. The coiling in there stomach worsens. It is looping throughout their entire body, not just in the depths of their stomach. Never before have they encountered such a feeling. Of course, never before did their mother try to kill them. All the brothers' minds could process was that they are in the same room as an attempted killer. What would happen to them?

"I made a bet." She begins, looking each of her sons in the eyes with a disgusting continence, "That he would hit ya. But he missed. I owed him a hundred dollars for that."

A sudden chill seizes the children's bodies, clawing into their spines and burrowing deep in their lungs, making any notion of moving pointless. It is like a deep sting, knowing that she intentionally did it. There was never any doubt about such a thing, only hearing the words makes one believe its meaning easier than a simple assumption. At the moment, when it finally sunk in deep enough for the youngest of them to comprehend, Raivis burst out into a fit of tears. It cascades down his face as his bottom lip trembles furiously, attempting to contain the pitiful whimpers his brothers knew he is capable of. Such an act only infuriates his mother and, in a fit of sudden unexplainable rage, clambers to her feet and grabs Raivis so forcefully that little yelps escape his orifice before he is even conscious of it. His knees practically knocking together, the sudden fear that spiked adrenaline into his blood stream leads him to begin yanking out of the women's grasp. His older brothers are horrified he is fighting back desperately, praying to God within his mind to give him the strength to break free.

However, a nine-year-old in a shrunken, dwarfism raged six-year-old body means he possess little to no strength to struggle against her hold.

Within seconds, the mother has him pinned the ground, clutching him so tightly that the circulation could not continue, and broke. It turns the skin on his arm sick variations of red to purple to black, the indication that her bruising grip is going to leave a temporary mark. Raivis's tears only continue, staining the red shirt Toris had mended with big fat water droplets. There is nowhere to run within the den of a monster. Victimized they've become, before they even have a chance to even define such a term. Prey for the animal so to speak. His mother slung curse words at him and Raivis takes them like they are tiny, individual slaps to his dignity. Toris adverts his eyes quickly, and Eduard follows in suit, knowing there is nothing they could do for him.

The first scream changes this.

They never realized their mother is wielding a weapon until the first screech leaves his lips, a natural reaction to the stinging bite of a blade as it dips into its skin, as though as an artist does with a paintbrush. Deeper and deeper it travels, destroying everything in its wake as it searches for its ultimate destination. Raivis's howls of absolute pain begin to falter as the agony over took his senses, leaving him disoriented and oh so tired, the last of his tears drying on his face. Toris could not take it. Something in him, that has been twisted far too tightly, suddenly snaps at the tension, unraveling faster than anyone could process. There is one snapshot when the mother is on top of Raivis, digging at his stomach with her kitchen knife, and in the next instance Toris is on top of her, now in position of the bloody knife. Eduard's mind reels fast, spinning so rapidly to understand what is happening that his body moves for him. He lunges for a blanket draped over the couch and drops to his knees, pressing the ratty material into his brother's wound. Raivis's tears are like imprints on his face, frozen there like there is nothing left to weep about. He struggles to breathe at a normal steady rate, almost as if he is lapsing into one of Toris's frequent panic attacks. Absolute woe masks his eyes, stealing every ounce of his childhood happiness. Cradling his brother, trying to prevent his own shed of tears, Eduard watches.

Toris is shocked at his own power, over taking his mother within seconds and flipping the odds like an ironic twist of fate. Toris could have easily finished things off right then and there, but his heart made him falter ever so slightly, giving his mother just one second to react to the turn of events. Shoving her off guard son off with brute force, she scrambles to her feet. She whips out a pistol, shoving it right between Toris's eyes. His wishes evaporate into the air like none of them remains. She however does not pull the trigger. She just watches triumphfully as her own flesh and blood slips into a panic attack. Overwhelmed by the rush of emotions his body is assaulted with, he simply keels over, eyes wide, mouth gasping desperately for air as his chest tightens.

The monster has her prey wounded and cornered. The perfect place for the finishing blow.

But she has use for them yet. They are the only way she is getting money to pay off her alcohol debts that she is allowing to sputter violently out of control.

Kicking Toris, she orders the boy into their bedroom. She proceeds to threaten them, waving the gun in such a savage jester that Eduard is most defiantly intimidated by her. He rushes Raivis to the bedroom, before lugging Toris along. In a fearful rush of pure adrenaline, Eduard throws his bed into the door, nearly propelling it off its hinges as he blocks the entrance. He is trembling, trembling so hard that his legs fold out from underneath him, and the ground rushes to catch him.

He sobs.

He sobs in-between one brother whose body is convulsing violently, and the other whose pale face makes him appear more of a ghost than a living boy. He cries for the life they have received, anathematizing God for such cruelty. He begs for mercy, pleading for some brief release from this life. He weeps because his youngest brother is cursed with an incurable disease that leaves him weak and unable to fend for himself. He sobs because his eldest brother is hexed with a condition whose roots could be found deep in their mother, the cause of all evil within their house. He cries because he is useless without proper vision, making him awful at protecting his brothers. A thought crosses his mind just as fast, so brief that there isn't even a moment to contemplate it.

Maybe he is just as horrible as his mother for letting this happen.

Crushed by the heavy weight depression can create, Eduard very fitfully finds himself slipping into a very uneventful sleep. He knows he should fend off the blackness eating away at the remaining vision he possesses, maybe coax his older brother from his fits. Alas, nothing could convince his body to remain awake, and thus, he falls head first into the dark abyss of sleep. Raivis, bleeding mildly still from the inflicted wound, follows his brother soon after. As for Toris, his panic attack persists through the night, the only trace of it ever occurring being the fact that his body just wouldn't stop trembling when morning comes.

The animal scars her prey and lets them free, just so they could be caught easily the next time.

Getting ready for school is a tedious, painful process. First there is the issue of Raivis's wound, which has dried during the moon's shift. Toris risks exiting the room briefly after they repositioned the bed to retrieve cotton swaps and rubbing alcohol, his hands shaking ever so slightly with his movements. Each swap of the wound causes the bitter liquid to seep into it, causing a burning sensation to sweep up the unprepared child. Little whimpers and whines escape, but Toris does not stop until his mission is complete. His mind is everywhere, jumping from one place to another in rapid order. He is constantly everywhere else but the here and now. He is severely traumatized by the night before, even more so than Raivis who received all the physical injuries. He just couldn't believe what is happening. His mother is getting more violent in the little interaction he has had with her. Was this boyfriend tempting her to do more daring things?

Dressing the wound absentmindedly, he helps his younger brother limp out the window again, and into the chilly morning. He would grunt or whine after each step, whispering that it hurt a tremendous amount. Toris ignores every plea to return, knowing that being in school is the safest thing for his dear brother. About half way up the drive, the pain becomes far too great, and Eduard has to carry the small child on his back. Toris is beyond sickened to comprehend what was happening anymore. Eduard knows this, and proceeds on the dangerous waters cautiously. Instead of Toris leading him to his classroom, he leads him into the open arms of his boyfriend, before delivering his brother to his class. Instead of going to his own room like his academics call for, Eduard finds himself looking for the abandoned hallway deep within their school, unusable due to the constant break downs that only accord in that particular hallway. He locates a cozy storage closet, out of the line of sight of any patrolling personal. It is here that he breaks down again, his heart shattering like glass, the shards raining on his lungs to sputter his breathing out of control. He is so hopeless and so lost.

Certain species of animals have specific tactics to lure their prey in. The particular monster that prowls the children's home prefers the method of to divide and conquer. She has executed it well, for not even the brothers can talk to one another to try to sort out their grievances. If they cannot speak to one another, than how will Toris fair with his boyfriend?

The moment Toris is pressed into Feliks's arms, he spirals into yet another panic attack, this one more severe than the rest. It gives Feliks quite a scare, to the point that he rushes the boy to the school nurse. Hovering over his boyfriend, holding his hand tightly as the nurse listens to his heart; his head begins to spin so fast with unanswered questions as an explanation for it. Feliks obediently obeys the nurse when she tells him to do something, wanting to do everything he could to help his boyfriend; that includes taking of his shirt. He fumbles a little with the fabric, shaking at his own rate with this sudden, pulsing fear. He has a bad feeling that something, something far worse than what he has considered has happened. He pulls the shirt up, struggling to get his spasming limps through the designated holes. Even after the shirt is extracted from him, Feliks and the nurse stand gaping at what it uncovered. Scars ribbon across his body as though as he is born that way, but Feliks knew otherwise. Inspecting the damage that he uncovered, he is shocked when he saw the little chasms of raw red skin on his back, the indention of a whip lash.

"Oh my God..." Feliks breathes.

Is this what Toris wouldn't tell him? That he is being tortured? The nurse, still bothered by the discovery, quickly grabs a pill bottle. She places a tablet in Toris's mouth, having him swallow it. The reaction is almost instaneous; his breathing slows to a softer rate, and the shaking is reduced significantly. An almost peaceful look crosses his face as the medication causes him to sleep.

Feliks wonders if it is the first time he ever felt that way.

Raivis is not fairing any better than his brothers. The children want to play, jolting and yanking his body around like a ragdoll. It hurt him so much that he had to inform the teacher he had a stomach ache, and proceeds to set out of all the activities. The classmates look at him as though as he is infected with some awful disease, and made a point to avoid him for the rest of the school secession. The animal has successfully isolated her prey from the world that could offer them help. The final step would be to conquer each one of them, in life and in death. She knows she is already half way there.

Each child in their own conscious way realize that they know their mother's boyfriend has an unshakable influence over her actions, and in turn makes her even more violent than usual. He could be the very reason they wind up six feet under in unmarked graves in their mother's backyard.

The bus ride is grave and somber, per usual. The brothers sit apart, and stare out the windows like they are trying to memorize what the world looks like in its final moments. They know they carry a death warrant with them as though as it is a huge target on their back. Death stalks them like their very own shadow, simply waiting for the moment that he can reap his claiming. The children consider various ways on how they could die and whether or not they would be remembered. When the bus came to a screeching halt, like the prisoners they are, the brothers clamor off the bus and up the lane without a single thought in mind, simply going through the motions like they are on auto pilot. They are oddly silent, especially Raivis, who would normally begin to cry on their walks. They are similar marionette dolls, guided by the strings.

However, not only three people got off the bus this day.

Once the tree line has hidden the glow of the bus, a student completely foreign to the route pleads with the driver to stop. She pulls over, and the boy is gone before she gets a clear look at his face. He appears to be gliding over the asphalt, running so gracefully that it gives the illusion of flying. Almost like a phoenix, the bus driver notes, as she continues on her way.

* * *

**TBC**

**-Soul Spirit-**


	3. A Fitting End

**Behind Closed Doors**

**A Hetalia story.**

* * *

**Chapter Three: A Fitting End**

* * *

The rocks that construct the gravel pathway lie beaten into the ground, treaded upon so many times that they are beginning to bury themselves in the soft dirt. It creates a rather stable walk way for anyone to walk along. To an ordinary person, the serene feel to the stroll is pleasant. Looking right and left, a bountiful collection of adult cedar trees greets them, their lanky limps waving a hello. The clouds dot the blue landscape with ivory shapes that could be depicted as anything. Birds chirp merrily nearby, pleased with their accommodations. Wild flowers fight their way through the free growing grass to reach the sun, petals outstretched in a sort of hug. It is undeniable that the country side has a particular beauty to it.

But when the children look, they see something else entirely.

The birds are singing their death march, each note signifying a painful demise. The trees limps are like claws, ready to scoop them up and hold them hostage to their mother's undoing. The flowers are seeking to watch the harm taking place in their household. There is nothing pleasant about it. All it offers is a very good hiding place.

A very good shield for bright yellow hair.

Toris, Eduard, and Raivis find themselves slowing there pace, not quite ready to accept their fate. It is then, that Raivis begins to whimper. The tears do not come, instead being replaced by the repeated whimper that replicates his fears. Toris clutches his younger brother's hand tightly, finding the sound heart breaking. Finally, the marionette dolls figure out how to break the strings, and move on their own. No longer robotic in their movements, the older brothers embrace little Raivis in a hug. Whispering quiet promises, the each in turn kiss his forehead. Tears start to surface, however they refuse to spill.

In a shaky voice, Raivis asks, "C-can we… make a wish..?"

His brothers quickly agree.

Clutching one another's hand in a prayer circle, Raivis murmurs in a hopeful voice, "I wish… we will be free," He closes his eyes tightly, continuing like it is a chant, "I wish we will be free," His voice grows stronger, gaining confidence by the simply repetition, "I wish we will be free."

"I wish we will be free." Repeats Eduard and Toris.

They wouldn't be free yet.

"Ya bastard!" Their mother screeches ramblingly from the porch, clutching her concoction of alcohol like it is a weapon, "Get yer ass over here and pay what ya owe me! Jonas!"

The children freeze, breaking the prayer circle like they got caught doing a black magic sacrament. Toris is especially terrified, knowing that the man she is yelling about is his biological father. Pushing his brothers behind him protectively, he watches wearily as she stumbles off the porch, swaying under the influence of her whiska.

"Gimme my money!" She demands, throwing the bottle at the children. It explodes at their feet, making them take a step backwards as she continues her drunken approach. Raivis is sobbing into the back of Toris's shirt, the tears finally finding their escape.

"JONAS!" Their mother roars, throwing her first punch at Toris. He takes a direct hit, the momentum throwing him backwards into his brothers. Raivis squeaks in fright, but luckily Eduard catches them before they all hit the ground.

"GIMME THE DAMN MONEY YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Her hands latch onto Toris's collar and, with the strength only alcohol fueled her with, pitches him to the ground. Battered and bruised, her son lays defenseless on the gravel, accepting each kick to the rib she delivers.

"He's not Jonas!" Eduard insists, now shielding his youngest brother from the absolute horror of her abuse. Raivis's weeping is gaining volume, making his voice grow hoarse and his eyes, irritated. Rubbing his eyes hard, he is caught off guard when their mother drives her fist at Eduard, smashing her fat fist into his jaw.

"Ya owe my child support too!" Eduard stumbles from the impact, cradling his jaw with his hands. Raivis whimpers loudly, drawing the attention of their mother.

"And you!" She bellows in the terrified child's face, "Ya cut me off completely! You bastard!" She wraps her thick fingers tightly around his neck, shaking the child with animalistic intent.

"We aren't our fathers you bitch!" Eduard cries, gasping at his own use of words. Releasing Raivis, she turns her head to look at the boy who has spoken, a savage look in her eyes that only a monster is capable of. She digs into her pocket quickly for something the children knew she is always in possession of. Finally fishing it out, she whips out the blade of the pocket knife and unexpectedly, charges for Eduard.

Toris screams, he is sure of it, the unnatural sound echoing throughout the country side like a broken record. Raivis wails as a result, witnessing the barbarity of their mother. With a grip on Eduard's hair, she jabs the blade into his right eye, the one that had been ruined beforehand by her own hands. Eduard stands, transfixed, his whole body resonating with the familiar pang of agony. A thick curtain of black is pulled over the remaining vision as the knife traverses further into his socket.

"STOP!" Toris screeches, paralyzed with a sudden fear when their mother retches the pocket knife from his eye, and Eduard drops to his knees. Blood drips down his face like bloody tears he is unable to shed. Raivis clings to his older brother desperately, trying to shake him from his daze.

The monster slinks back into the house with a sudden change of heart, probably to find another bottle to satisfy her hunger. A trail of blood follows her, a reminder of the deed she just did. Toris scrambles to his feet, groaning when his body aches with the sudden assault of her fresh brutality. This horrific scene startles the boy hiding behind a patch of cedar, creating a huge blow to his ignorance. He regrets not doing something sooner, blaming himself for not acting on the instincts he felt each time Toris lied to him. Frozen he is, amongst the undergrowth, unable to uproot himself from his spot and reveal himself. He understands that now would not be the right time to show he has been spying. Stealthy, the boy recedes into the forest, trotting back home like he was never there at all. The only trace that remains of his visit are the tears drops on a lonesome leaf, like a phoenix had perched itself on a tree and wept.

The demon is breaking each child like brittle leaves in the winter, shattering them into little pieces that have no chance of being put back together. Toris is torn in so many ways, fighting a battle within himself to continue living through this torture. Raivis is deeply disturbed by the events, so far traumatized that it will take a while in order to allow himself to heal from the ordeal. As for Eduard, he is so deeply submerged in self-pity like it is a bottomless lake that he continues to sink in. Silently, he repeats every name he was ever called by his mother, even adding in a few new ones.

Toris urges his brothers inside via their window, knowing walking through the front door is like begging for another beating. He rips up one of the few shirts he has, using the strips to wrap around Eduard's head to hide the hideous disfigurement of his eye. Gingerly, he collects the stray trails of blood with his thumb, brushing his brother's skin in a loving manner like he has done many times to Feliks. Their youngest brother sits whimpering on the bed, like a kicked puppy in the brutal rain. Toris pulls Raivis onto Eduard's bed, and proceeds to have the two lay down. It is on rare occasion their eldest brother does this, but at the moment, it does not matter. He needs to comfort his brothers, and it is the only way he knows how.

Clearing his throat, Toris begins to sing softly to them. It is soothing, easing the weariness out of their bodies like it is an incantation. He rivets them with a lullaby that meets various ups and downs; guiding his voice beautifully like it is a dance. He sings quietly, to the point that his mother could not hear him, but it does not lose its intensity. As a result, despite the pain inflicted on his younger brothers, they both manage to seek slumber before the song is finished.

"Goodnight…" He mumbles, wishing once again that they could be delivered from their life.

His mind starts reeling from the events, replaying themselves like a horror story on a big screen. His mother has repeatedly made reference to their birth fathers. Maybe they have finally cut her child support off so she can no longer purchase alcohol freely. If that's the case, that explains why she was in such a drunken fit of rage towards his father, and mistaken her offspring as them.

This won't turn out well, Toris realizes.

By the time dawn's light begin to waver over the horizon, Toris has feed his brothers carnivorous appetite that developed as a result from their pains. He helps them out of there equally stained clothes, and into their final set of the week. Fridays are always the day Toris did the boys' laundry, and today would be no different. For some reason, the eldest brother feels a bit cheery. Maybe it is because of the song he had sung has uplifted his heart from the depth of the depression in which it comes from. He changes both his brothers bandages, before inspecting the damage inflicted on his own body. There is a patch of ebony ringing his rib cage, a bit of swelling beginning to inflate his cheek a little, but other than that he is alright. He knows nothing is at all broken, or stabbed like his younger brothers. Without dwindling on that thought for long, they scurry out the window. Raivis is a bit more mobile than yesterday, being able to make it through on his own. Sneaking past the open window of the living room, the only trace of their mother they could catch is her heavy snoring, probably as a result from an alcohol crash. She suffers from many of those dastardly hangovers, but Toris prays it would be clear by the time he reaches home. At least it reassures him a little, that her estranged boyfriend wouldn't be coming over if she is out cold. The bus is waiting on them per usual, and the children are eager to enter the heart of it. The bus driver gives them a questioning look, trying to remember if she dropped off the middle child in the same fashion as he is arriving in. Shaking her head, she continues the route, muttering things like 'you've just gone crazy'.

The three brothers find a seat together in the very back, returning into their individual spaces where they do not talk to their own siblings. To them, it helps the bus ride pass quicker, being trapped with nothing but their thoughts. All the children on the bus pile out once it arrives on the campus, everyone filing to their specific classroom. Toris leads his younger brothers to their classrooms, only pausing briefly to explain to Eduard's special ED teacher that he had an accident at home. He couldn't figure out why, but he is in a hurry to escape, like being around his brother is just another reminder of the life back home. Before he can make it to his designated classroom however, he is suddenly plucked from the crowd of students. Toris recognizes the boy with the naturally straightened hair dragging him away from the common flow of children. He could feel his heart beating just a little bit faster, pumping blood hard like it is suddenly unable to do that. He silently makes a resolution that he would not lapse into another panic attack. However, his body is betraying him, trembling with the very thought of what Feliks has to say to him.

"Toris," Feliks's voice is soft, almost like a plea, "Please let me help you."

Toris's heart nearly stops beating in his chest. It's not like he could know… right?

"What do you mean?" He questions slowly, dodging the question skillfully. He has lied so many times. What would make now any different?

"I saw what happened Tori. I saw what your mother did," The eldest brother's eyes widen at this revelation, but Feliks continues, "I want to help you because that was absolutely horrible." His voice is straining, coming out in a low whisper. He clutches Toris's hand tightly, feeling the tremble of his boyfriend's body.

"I... I have no idea what you're talking about." He tries to deny, but he knows he has been caught red handed.

"Please Tori. I saw the scars. I saw your brother stabbed! I want to help you so much. I want to help you get away from that."

In that instant, it feels like Toris's world has crumbled. He so desperately tries to construct an impenetrable wall to hide the truth and the lies from everyone else. And yet, Feliks has managed to slip through a crack, and completely fragmented the wall. He uncovered everything so quickly, and before Toris could notice too. It makes his head spin, the very thought of his boyfriend knowing the truth weighing so heavily on him that he could no longer breathe. He starts to choke, like the very air is suffocating him. His body trembles hard against Feliks, making him rock his boyfriend back in forth, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear. The fool proof method once again proves its reliability because within minutes, the panic attack disperses. Toris is actually grateful he had been with Feliks, and not in his classroom.

Smiling sweetly, Feliks exchanges a soft kiss with his boyfriend, "Lets, like, get to class."

Upon their late arrival, the teacher does not pepper them with questions about where they were. He has been informed at the start of the year that Mr. Laurinaitis is notorious for panic attacks that prevent him from attending class at the present moment. He simply marks the boys present before continuing on his lecture about the King's English, having to stop on a number of occasions to correct a student's southern drawl; it is rather improper to mimic it within a English classroom if he would say so himself. Feliks finds it amusing, occasional casting glances at his boyfriend to see him scribbling on the desk. He is very, very worried for Toris's well-being. He knows he wouldn't accept help either. Making a silent resolution to himself, Feliks creates a silent promise that he will help his boyfriend no matter what.

When the class period is drawling to a close, a few students take it upon there selves to ask the teacher miscellaneous question, all of which Toris vaguely listens to. Instead, his attention is divided to the unguarded windows that show the teachers' parking lot. The child notices his French teacher is getting into his vehicle, most likely in search for the roses he always hands out the female students. As for the boys, he always has a good tip or two on picking up a girl or a romantic date. Toris will admit, only silently, that he has borrowed a few ideas. To say the least, Feliks was absolutely thrilled by them. Toris smiles a little at that fond memory he carries with him. The smile that lit up his boyfriend's face was just indescribable.

Toris watches in confusion as a vehicle begins to make its way through the parking lot. That's odd. The entire faculty should be here, and the janitor always comes after school. So why is someone pulling in? He wonders, staring at the automobile closely as it pulls up next to the open door of his French teacher's car.

It is a grey pickup truck.

Observing the scene in absolute horror, Toris sees the first thing to pop out of the truck. And it is not a person. Toris recognizes the weapon that lies underneath his mother's bed, a pump action shot gun that he never did touch. He screams at the same time the man fires his weapon into the teacher's car, splattering blood on the insides of the windows like finger paint. His English teacher, a young fellow by the name of Arthur, is quick to survey the scene outside the window. His eyes widen, knowing his fellow colleague has just been shot. Yanking the blinds down without a moment's hesitation, he orders the classroom to the furthest corner of the room, away from the windows and door. Toris is frozen with a mixture of fear and shock, unable to comprehend his teacher's orders. Luckily for him, Feliks guides him back with the confused classmates. All his boyfriend could even think about is his brothers, trapped in another building, with his mother's boyfriend entering the school with the intent to kill. Arthur flicks the lights off, and locks the door, toppling a bookcase in front of it to provide another shield. He then makes it over to his desk, grabbing the phone he always has present there.

The English teacher only gets a 9 pressed into the phone before the window panes splinter, the blinds being torn with the force of a bullet. The glass sprays the floor with a shower of slivers that Arthur falls into, his chest blossoming with blood. Eyes dulled with the sharp pangs, the dutiful teacher orders the students to run with what little breath he has. Students scramble to remove the bookcase and bolt out the door before the man makes it to the window. Toris however, couldn't stop staring at the body of his English teacher, his life slowly leaking out because of him.

It's all my fault Toris realizes, his fist clenching tightly with this fact. Feliks couldn't stand the pained look present on his face, almost like he himself has taken the bullet. Grabbing his hand, he sprints out the classroom with his boyfriend in tow. His first instinct is to run for the other side of the building, and escape that way. Toris, however, has other plans.

"We have to help my brothers first." Toris says breathlessly, fighting back tears that threaten to spill.

"Like, let's do it then."

They rush the middle school quickly, scanning every possible room Eduard could be in. About this time, the intruder alert has been issued and most of the rooms are locked, but they manage to find his younger brother hiding amongst the books in the library. A quick check over reveals that he has not been injured, which relieves Toris slightly. Clutching Feliks hand in one hand and Eduard in the other, Toris plows his way to the elementary like he refuses to let anything stop him. He doesn't want his brothers to be caught in the crossfires, and he defiantly doesn't want any more teachers being killed. He has to get his brothers and run. That is the only option that remains. Toris could not handle that the deaths of some people are on his conscious, because he caused this mess to begin with.

He created it by being born.

Since it is elementary, the eldest brother knew that Raivis would remain in one classroom. Locating that classroom is easy. Getting in it is another issue. Toris pounds on the door, pleading with the hidden teacher to let his brother out. At first, the teacher doesn't believe him, but the more he talks, the more she begins to recognize his voice. Reluctantly, she releases the little Raivis from her classroom. The brothers embrace is kept short.

"We have to leave." Toris whispers.

His younger brothers do not try to contradict his decision. Walking at a brisk pace, the brothers and Toris's boyfriend set out to exit the school as quickly as possible. Toris isn't for sure whether his mother's boyfriend has entered the school yet or is patrolling the campus. He would have to take his chances though. Toris assumes he would still be by the high school.

How wrong he is.

Once they get out the entrance to the elementary, they are greeted with the steel barrel of the pump action shot gun. The man's, the alleged boyfriend's, face twists into a sick smile, like he takes pleasure in seeing Eduard and Raivis cower behind their eldest brother who is staring down the barrel. He has been so eager to meet them, because he needs a good target practice. Still targets are okay, but the best are the runners he would always say. The teachers, they are merely compensation. He was eager for someone's body to eat the hot fury of his lead casings, and they just happened to be there.

" 'Ello kids," His smiles continues to deform, his alcohol reeked breath stinging the nostrils of all who smell it, "I've heard bunches 'bout you bitches. How yer daddies just left yer mama high and dry. Well ye know what?" He chuckles at the very thought, "She's gunna kill ya! To get back at yer daddies! Hehe! That'll teach them, ay?"

The children feel instantly betrayed by their biological fathers. First, they had left them without so much as a dispute. Now, they've refused to pay child support like Toris had guessed, and is putting their children in danger. Didn't they care about their own flesh and blood?

"Back off." Feliks steps in front of his boyfriend and his siblings, directing the shot gun to his forehead. The boyfriend laughs at the opposition, before nudging him with the barrel.

"Yer a scrawny little thing. Can't be child of her can ye? Ye don't have the eyes neither."

"I'm not the offspring of that demon if you're, like, implying that." Feliks grits his teeth, swatting the weapon away from his face.

When it gets down to it, Feliks is not in the slightest the kind and gentle person he is known to be. When the lives of his loved ones are threatened, he is _not_ afraid to get down and dirty. Toris has never witnessed this side of his boyfriend until now. The boyfriend is quick to jab him again with the gun, displeased with the reaction. Even though he is holding a loaded gun that he has actually fired with the intent to hurt, Feliks is acting as though as it is a fake BB gun. Toris prays silently that no harm would come to his boyfriend or his brothers from this altercation. If anything, at least allow that to come true. Raivis is once again drawn to the stage of crying, unable to contain the fact that he is frightened to death. Eduard wraps his arms around his brother to comfort him, but to no avail.

"Get yer asses in the back of my pickup truck before I blow the blondes head off." The boyfriend snarls lowly, testing the trigger with his index finger. Defiantly, Feliks glares back, but Toris fears for his life. Grabbing the hands of his boyfriend and Raivis, he shakingly walks to the grey pickup, the man following so close that his bitter breath could still be inhaled.

The truck is a single cab, meaning the four hostages couldn't all fit into the compartment. That would mean risking them overpowering the driver down the road. Thinking this through with a smug smile on his face, the man orders the children into the back of his truck, throwing the shotgun into the passenger seat when he climbs in.

The children get a good look of the car sitting idly next to them, the engine purring softly like it had been started for the sake of air conditioning. A few roses had fallen from the empty car door, along with a limp arm that dangles from the seat it had been stretched over. The entirety of the back seat is stained in blood, like an explosion of it happened to go off. Toris notices sickly that the blond hair of the French teacher is no longer that, but instead a rich crimson color. Their kidnapper throws the truck into reverse, causing them to tumble at the unprepared lurch of it as it begins to make its escape, leaving the scene of such a dastardly crime. He blazes down the asphalt, wasting no time on stopping at the clearly marked stop signs. As the children shiver with dread in the back, the boyfriend fishes out a half-finished bottle of beer, chugging the contents down as he drives speratically with one hand. Raivis is crying harder now, fearing the inevitable is now occurring.

Toris comes to the realization, too little too late, that trying to live this life is futile. He should've run when he first got the chance. But now, he would have to take the fall. To protect the ones he loved. Talking above the wipe lash of the wind, Toris's eyes meet each of his brothers, then his boyfriend's.

"You guys need to jump. Run for the police, someone to help you."

"We can't leave you." Raivis squeaks, sobbing so hard that his voice is contracting in his throat, and his face is turning red from the strain.

"Do it. Eduard, go with Raivis and Feliks please. Get somewhere safe." The words are coming out as a whisper now, like speaking them is a sin.

Eduard does not want to leave Toris. He would have rather stayed by his side to the very end. But he doesn't want Raivis suffering any more than he already has. So with a quiet goodbye to the older brother who had practically raised them, Eduard bails from the moving vehicle with Raivis tucked safety in his arms. His back snaps against the pavement, dazing him for a brief moment. Their youngest brother is quick to shake him from it though, and together they flee in the direction of the school. Toris now turns to his boyfriend, who stubbornly refuses to move from his spot against the cab.

"Feliks you need-"

"No." Comes the instant reply.

"Feliks this isn't your fight. It's all my fault and I have to deal with the consequences."

Feliks turns to face him, grabbing his hand gently so he could intertwine their fingers together.

"We are in these together Tori. In sickness and in health. Till death do we part." Feliks responds.

"You sound like we're married."

"I wish we could be."

The reply draws their mouths together in one of their infamous tender kisses, one so innocent that doesn't deserve to be cut drastically short. They pull apart for a brief moment, each one whispering I love you before their lips connect again.

It doesn't take long before they arrive at the house hidden in the woods.

The monster has awakened from her den.

The next few hours are filled with blood. Lots of it. It shadows the visions of anyone within the household, influencing the animal's drive to continue extracting the fluids. Various guns go off; each one with a distinct echo because of their location is unable to be heard. There is also pain. A deep, burning pain that spreads throughout their bodies like wildfire.

Then there is flashing lights, a swirl of blue and red.

Then there are fluorescent lights, bright and scowling like the walls around them.

Then there is nothing.

Nothing but darkness.

* * *

"You know I miss Toris sometimes." Eduard recalls, pushing his new glasses up his nose.

"I agree!" Raivis peeps, his voice having drastically changed over the years.

Eduard, now 21, has recently received special treatment for an incident that occurred years ago that mangled his vision. Three laser eye surgeries later, his eyes are repaired enough that only glasses are required to read. Now with his renewed vision, he always makes a point to get in contact with his younger brother, especially on the occasion that he is turning 18; besides, he enjoys their meets. It is funny to see the smile plastered on his face when the now 6'3" boy towers over his older brother. The duo has went to quiet coffee shop downtown from where they live in a housing edition, as far away as they could afford to escape the memories of their childhood. Sipping at a cup of coffee, Eduard absentmindedly reads a newspaper as his brother rambles off possible careers he could delve into when he goes to college, who he would vote for, and so on. He always loves to hear the renewed liveliness in his voice, but something else catches his eye.

"Hey Raivis," He catches his brother's attention, waving the newspaper around a little before continuing, "They have an interesting article in the paper."

"What about?" The younger asks, opening up a sugar packet and dumps the contents directly into his mouth.

"The school. Remember the one we used to go to?" Raivis nods his head, "Well they built a little memorial. You know for Mr. Kirkland and Mr. Bonnefoy. That boy in Toris's class, Alfred I think is having it constructed. It's also in awareness for cases like us."

"Do we get to cut a fancy big ribbon?"

Eduard laughs, "No, but it says if anyone still has contact with us they want to talk about us going down there, maybe giving a little a speech."

Raivis smiles mischievously, "Does that mean we get to interrupt the two love birds from their honeymoon?"

"For something like this? Nah. Let them enjoy their cruise."

"But you said you missed him Eduard!" Raivis coos jokingly, enjoying the eye roll he recieves.

"Yes I do, but our brother deserves a nice long vacation."

"But he's had like, eight years of it!"

"He still has eight more to make up."

* * *

**Let me tell you, I had so much fun writing this! Thanks for reading!**

**-Soul Spirit-**


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